The Importance of Empathy in Teaching

It's not about me.  It's about the student.  I have to constantly remind myself to feel the student's emotional burden:

• THE FINE MOTOR STRUGGLE.  Remember the struggle of fine motor coordination:  it's hard enough to get those tiny appendages to do what your brain tells them to.
• PRESSURE TO IMPRESS.  Remember the pressure they're feeling to please and impress their teacher, and how bad they can feel when they're unprepared.
• IT'S JUST HARD.  Imagine how hard the task is for them, even though it may be incredibly easy for you.  Break it down as much as possible and present it many different ways when the student doesn't get it.

I also have to fight my urges to correct prematurely, interrupt a student's playing, and allow distracting thoughts to enter my consciousness.  I keep these two things in mind:

• HEAR THEM OUT WITHOUT INTERRUPTING.  Students feel like they're failing if you interrupt them a lot when they're playing.  Hear them out first, or until they get stuck.  Or -- just wait out the piece and do a stop-and-correct run the next time through.  
• BE QUIET AND FOCUS.  If the teacher is writing while the student is playing, or she's looking at her text messages, the student gets the idea that what they're doing isn't important.  S/he gets the idea that the teacher is not focused on him/her.

To make a task more attainable, remember that a verbal explanation that works for some students will not work for others.  You'll have to empathize with their learning style and adapt your approach:

• SOME KIDS NEED TO SEE IT.  Is the child a visual learner?  Draw something!  Show them!  Demonstrate!  Use highlighters and post-it flags to mark up their music.  I often teach scales with picture scales (pictures of the keyboard with fingerings).
• SOME KIDS NEED TO HEAR IT.  Is the child an auditory learner?  If a child plays by ear, listening to you play it or hearing a recording will work wonders.  Just make sure they're still learning to read music, so they don't become overly dependent on their ear.    
• DO THEY NEED TO PHYSICALLY FEEL IT?  Is the child a tactile learner?  Some students do better if I tap the rhythm on the back of their hand. Sometimes I have them place their hands on their thighs and tap out the right/left rhythm as it occurs in the treble/bass clef.  

Finally, I have to empathize with their life.  I have found it good to cut them some slack now and then for the stresses of life:  final exams, AP tests, holidays when their family was out of town, vacations, and school plays.  If I'm just a ruthless tyrannical teacher every week of the year, I'm not allowing my students to be human.  Furthermore, musicians often work in energy spurts just before performances.  As long as there is not an ongoing history of poor practice or regression, it's best to be understanding for a short period and do some fun diversions or review until their routine has normalized.  I try to keep in mind...

• What are their outside stressors?  
• How many activities is this child involved in?  
• How much pressure do they put on themselves? 
• Is there family stress?  School stress?  What's going on in this child's life that may be hindering their performance today?

Keeping all these pointers in mind builds trust between teacher and student.  The student knows you're on their side, respecting their idiosyncracies, struggles, and learning style.